For those of you wondering about the watermark thing on all of them, suffice it to say that I was getting tired of simply putting my blog URL on every photo – in fact, I barely ever post photos anymore because of it.  :/  Hence, I finally bit the bullet and took fifteen minutes of my time to create a nicer looking thing.

If you’re wondering about scale here, the yellow flowers (sorry, don’t know their common or scientific name!) are roughly the size of a quarter.  Photo taken March 2012.

I’m still trying to figure out how, exactly, to photograph the sun.  This photo was taken sometime in the 2011.

 This was actually just a corner of a photograph, one which I didn’t like until I had cropped it extensively and used GIMP’s “oilify” effect.

This one is probably my personal favorite.  I love these little blossoms, and since they only appear for about a week every year, I try to take lots of photos while they’re around.

Playing with the sun again in this photo.  I did several edits on the lighting and focus, but I’m still not sure how much I like it.  The different watermark-thingy is from the fact that I edited it using PicMonkey (rather than GIMP).

Last week I took a number of photographs which I’d share with you now – except for the fact that they have yet to be uploaded onto the computer.

I’ve always loved your name.  In fact, I named my favorite doll Abbie when I was two or three years old.  For awhile Lizzy held to the notion that you were actually named after the doll.  It took us quite a bit to convince her that you weren’t.

Six years.  I blink, and all of the sudden you’re no longer a baby.  Time seems like such a vapor sometimes, and it just keeps getting faster.

I recall my sixth birthday.  We had a birthday party – my first one with friends over – and played musical chairs and pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey and raced each other for prizes of silly putty and multi-colored pens.  One of the little boys tried to scare me with a worm, but at that age I loved worms and snakes and reptiles.

And I felt like such a big kid.

I look at you and I know that I wasn’t really big, but I’m not surprised to see you thinking you are.  You watch me and help me and feed me skittles and give me pictures and I feel like I’m watching myself at age six.  How is it that time goes so fast?

Wasn’t I just doing that?  How come you’re big enough to do it?   It’s mind boggling, and I don’t want to blink because then you’ll be in high school (and we won’t talk about how old I’ll be!) and life is so short.

You’ve grown so much since the times I would hold you in Church and you’d suddenly let out an excited shriek, since the times you chewed and slobbered on everyone’s shoulders.

Every day I see you growing in grace and knowledge and sometimes craziness, and I’m so glad you’re my sister.  So glad God has given us this time together, however quickly it may seem to pass.

You are a wonderful sister to me, and I’m lovin’ every minute of it.

Happy Sixth Birthday, Abbie!

Once we reached the lobby area, Mom was pulled aside by an excited church member who let her know that “Newt Gingrich is coming here today!  He’s going to go right through those doors!”  After politely exiting the conversation, Mom slipped over to the rest of us to give us the news.  Our reactions ranged from “Eww! Yuck!” to “Who’s he?”, but we managed to make our way to the balcony without too much commotion.

Thankfully, the service was not at all focused on Newt, and at the end when the Pastor did mention him, he made sure to state that Jesus was the most important visitor.  Nevertheless, “our” pew was conspicuously still and silent when everyone else was applauding and welcoming Gingrich.  I was deeply disappointed in how excited so many seemed at the prospect of meeting him – if we had been in some place other than church, I would have been tempted to boo or start chanting ‘End the Fed!’.

Had Obama or Clinton or someone else wearing a blue tie been there instead that day I doubt that they would have received such an enthusiastic welcome – but because Gingrich wears a red tie, no one seems to look twice at the fact that he is otherwise indistinguishable from many liberals.  Ugh.  Red ties are quite deadly, I’m afraid.  So far they’ve managed to do much are harm to our country, and I’m surprised that many continue to be blinded by them.

~

Those of you who aren’t new here likely notice that I’ve changed my background theme. (yet again!)  Hopefully this one is for keeps.  I like it, even thought the html has proved slightly difficult to manipulate.  If any of you note any bugs, flaws, or ugly stuff I’d be thankful if you’d leave me a comment pointing them out.

In other news, google has discontinued the friend connect gadget for all non-blogger sites.  Since I’ve been double posting to my old blogger blog lately, anyone “following” me there will still get updates in their blogger news feed, although it’ll be more hassle than before.  If you know me in person/know me well enough that you know my full name feel free to “friend” me on facebook, (no guarantees that I’ll confirm, though!) but if not, sorry…

~

It’s been different lately with no real baby around the house.  For the first time in about decade there are no diapers to change, no burp rags to fold, no little one to “fight” over… In a way it’s sort of sad, because unless God sends another sibling, that chapter of our family’s life is finished.

~

My days lately are filled with school.  Trying to finish up twelfth grade and “graduate” from my days of formal schooling has me busier than I’d like to be, but thankfully I’m in the home stretch now.  Sometimes I feel a bit overwhelmed, although I’m a perfectionist and the overwhelm is mostly my own fault, I think.

I’m also trying to figure out what to do after graduating.   Taking over schooling some of the littles is an option, although right now I think Mom is doing a better job than I would be able to.  I’d also like to find a way to get some sort of income, although I’d prefer for it to be from home or self employed.  Photography is something I really want to look into, although I’d need a better camera than the one I -er, Mom – has.  Heh.

Anyway, if you’ve read through this far I congratulate you.  Thanks for bearing with my rambling.

Anything I wish to communicate via the written word is inadequate, imperfect, too stiff.  Some people are able to speak and write eloquently, making me laugh or cry or ponder.  But when I write, everything just seems blah, at least to me.  When I speak, it is not without much hesitation and trepidation.

Blog post drafts stay in the draft stage for weeks, months, and sometimes even years before I finally decide to either delete them or take a deep breath and hit the publish button.  Conversations play out in my mind for hours before I take a deep breath and introduce myself to someone new.  Even emails and letter collect {virtual??} dust as I try to find the courage to send them.

After I say finally something or publish a blog post or hit the send button or seal the envelope or whatever, I ask myself, why?

Why is it so hard for me to express what I want to say?  Why do I fear to open my mouth?  What makes it so difficult for me to be content with the quality of what I have communicated?

The answer lies not in that I have had a lot of criticism, or that I have been lambasted for saying something in the past, or anything like that.  Although there have been times when close friends and family gently admonish me over something unkind which I stated, I have never received any real opposition to anything I’ve ever said.

So why the hesitation?

Pride.

Perfectionism is a pitfall which I all to easily stumble into.  Mortified all too easily at any blunder, any faux pas, I tend to keep everything inside instead.  After all, I can’t go wrong if I don’t say anything, right?

But instead, I hurt myself as well as those around me.  I keep silent when I ought to say something, I don’t comment even when I know that I could or should or ought to.

Almost two years ago, some girls at Presbytery were going to be singing a quick chorus at the “talent show” there.  They asked me to join, since the needed all the volume they could get.  Refusing with the excuse that I needed to help Mom with the little kids, I politely declined and heaved a deep sigh of relief.

But now I wonder if my refusal was partly based on pride, on the fear that I would mess up.  If I has asked Mom, I’m sure she would have told me to go ahead.  Instead, I let my fears get in the way.

The epistle of James speaks of the tongue being a rudder, something which steers the whole course of life.  I’ve heard many people speak of times they said the wrong thing, times they blundered terribly with what the spoke and damaged many around them.

“Look also at ships: although they are so large and are driven by fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot desires. Even so the tongue is a little member and boasts great things.”   – James 3:4-5

So many realize quickly how easy it is the say the wrong thing at the wrong time, to speak when it is not appropriate.

But a ship’s rudder, although it can be incredibly harmful when used the wrong way, is also necessary.  So also is communicating, even when it is something hard for me to do.

Moses was not nimble in speaking.  He did not feel at all capable of confronting the Pharaoh, of taking on the tremendous task of ambassador for Israel.

And yet he did.

Sure, God sent his brother along to help him out, but Moses was not excused  from duty.

Just as Moses stood up and used his faltering mouth for God’s glory, so I ought to do the same, even when my pride hisses to me that I can’t, shouldn’t, won’t.

Perhaps I will never find speaking to be an easy task. Perhaps I will never excel at communicating.  But with God’s help, I  can reach past my pride and trepidation and speak.

“You’re going to get a new baby brother or sister today!” Dad and Mom told us as we tromped into the car.  We celebrated and bounced up and down and were a little bit scared, all at the same time.

They dropped us off at the residence of the P__ family, then continued on to their destination.

Our young minds quickly left the topic of new baby and refocused on playing with the other kids.  We found the playmobils and guided them through an adventure.  We went outside and played on their swing set.  We played checkers on a big cracker-barrel style mat thing.  We went on a walk around the block with them and their mom.

And then that evening, while coloring pictures with the family’s only girl and Lizzy, using markers from a butterfly shaped art case, I was handed the phone.

“Hi Hannah!” come Dad’s voice “you have a new baby sister!  Her name is Esther Ruth.”

I’ve found that the illustrious Pizza varies from state to state.

In New York, extra large with a thin crust, scanty amount of sauce, and thin layer of cheese.

In Chicago, thick with a lot of toppings.

In the Mid-West, eaten with almost any topping imaginable – salsa, ranch dressing, spinach, lettuce, tomato chunks, you-name-it.

At our house, homemade.  Two Supreme.  Two plain cheese.  Two something-elses.  All prepared and eaten {almost} every Friday night.

A lot of people don’t seem to understand why we choose to make pizza when it would be so much simpler to buy takeout or frozen.  The reason is not one of convenience, but of flavor.  (Besides the fact that homemade pizza is so much better for you!)

(Warning: picture-heavy post.  Click through at your own- and your browsers – risk!)

Thus the hour 1700 on a Friday night will find us in the kitchen, pulling out our pizza ingredients and mixing them together.

 First appears the Brown Sugar or Sucanat.  Two tablespoons of one or the other is put into our biggest bowl.  Two tablespoons of Salt follow, along with 6 Tablespoons of Instant Yeast.

 6 cups of Water are put onto the stove to warm up…  (Here I got the water too hot, hence the bubbles.  It ought get up to around 110 degrees Fahrenheit.)

…and then poured into the yeast mixture…

…and then mixed with the yeast.

3/4 cup of Olive Oil is added.

As are several cloves of Garlic (to taste).

Abbie jumps up onto the counter, grabs a spoon, and helps me stir.

I gradually pour in about 15 cups of Flour, sort of stirring it in between cups.

Abbie tries to help stir, but the mass is too thick for her.

So I attempt to stir it in, but finally dispair of doing so with a wooden spoon.

 Given’ up on the wooden spoon, remove rings and/or bracelets, shove in hands, knead.

Spread flour on counter, dump grapefruit size lump on flour…

…get out the rolling pin, begin rolling out dough, give up on taking photos for a little while.

Then I carefully pick up the dough and quickly transfer it onto a heavily cornmeal-dusted pizza stone or cookie sheet…

…roll up the edges, repeat six times.  Then it’s on to the sauce…

Nothing too fancy here.  Just your average tomato sauce, enhanced with Pizza Seasoning.

Then we add the cheese, mozzarella with a dusting of Parmesan (Entirely optional.  You can also add cheddar or other cheeses, if you so desire.)

Someone cuts up veggies for supreme.  When we have it, we also try to add pepperoni, beef, or chicken so as to add some protein for our ever-hungry guys.

The Beef Pizza, uncooked.

The supreme, ready to consume.

As well as the Cheese!

Our Pizza recipe makes more than 6 pizzas, but I’ve halfed this amount below.

Homemade Pizza

makes about 4-5 large pizzas

3 Cups Warm Water (about 110 degrees)

3 Tablespoons Instant Dry Yeast

1 Tablespoon Sucanat/Sugar

1 Tablespoon Salt

1/3 Cup {Olive} Oil

7-8 Cups Whole Wheat Flour (or all purpose, if you don’t have WW)

Combine first four ingredients, stir.  Add the oil, then mix in the flour, kneading by hand once it gets thick.  Roll out on a heavily floured surface, place on Pizza Stone or cookie sheet.  Add desired toppings.  Bake at 500 degrees for 10-15 minutes.  Bon Appetit!

{Topping Suggestions}

Pepperoni

Beef

Sausage

Chicken

Mushrooms

Peppers

Onion

Garlic

Sun-dried tomatoes

Broccoli

Olives

Pinterest, for example, was already crazy popular when I found it, and I read at least a half dozen different posts all written by different people endorsing and recommending it.  While I enjoyed reading each of those posts, I didn’t have any inclination to post about it myself when that many were already giving their opinions.

When I find a blog I enjoy reading I simply “follow” it, and if I really like it it gets added to the “blogroll” page on here.  The only exception is when I have to give some sort of shout-out to enter a giveaway.

But now I’m going to break my self-imposed rule and give MemVerse.com a shout-out.

I first found MemVerse through the signature of someone on the Rebelution forums.   I clicked the link given, explored the site for a little while, signed up for an account, and promptly forgot about the entire site.      #shorttermmemory

I finally remembered about two months ago, and since I was already committed to memorizing several passeges,  I didn’t forget about it this time.

It didn’t take me long to realize that I really liked this site.  All my current Bible memory work was now in one place, at my fingertips.  Typing each verse out helped me remember the verse better.  Each verse was systematically presented at optimum intervals,  and I was also able to give feedback for how I was doing with each verse.  And not only were the verses sticking, but my typing was also improving in speed.

The idea of MemVerse is simple.  Type out the verse, wait for the little “correct” button to pop up, rate your memory by clicking a 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5, and then proceed to the next verse.   Each time you rate your memory on that verse as high, the time interval increases, and every time you rate yourself low, it decreases.  When the time interval on a verse exceeds 30 days, the verse is re-categorized from learning to memorized.

I was surprised when I saw how few users there are.  It’s funny how sites like Pinterest, which helps you organize your ideas and inspirations, or Picnik, which is a tool you can use to edit photos with, are widely popular while a site which helps you memorize the Bible is not.  hm.  Obviously, I had to write a blog post about it.

So what are you waiting for?  Head on over and start memorizing.  :D

{1} Blest be the tie that binds
Our hearts in Christian love;
The fellowship of kindred minds
Is like to that above.

{2} Before our Father’s throne
We pour our ardent pray’rs;
Our fears, our hopes, our aims, are one,
Our comforts and our cares.

{3} We share our mutual woes,
Our mutual burdens bear;
And often for each other flows
The sympathizing tear.

{4} When we asunder part,
It gives us inward pain;
But we shall still be joined in heart,
And hope to meet again.

~John Fawcett

The words to this song, specifically the third line of the first verse, really struck me recently.  2011 was a hard year for me & my family in several ways, one of which was a lack of Christian fellowship and community.  I miss the cozy, stimulating feel of a good discussion among like-minded friends, the fun of laughing and crying and debating and praying with and for friends.  The old saying “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” is true in many ways, and I pray that when God brings to us a season where we will be able to experience this again we will not take it for granted.

When God does open up the door for us to taste that sweet delight of fellowship again, I pray that I will have the courage to, as the third stanza speaks of, share and  to sympathize, to hear and to help, to give and to receive.  I don’t want to be superficial, to just chatter.

The aching void that this current lack has created has also forced me to draw nearer to my family, to the occasional friend who I have been able to see, and also to the “friend that sticketh closer than a brother”*.

Not only that, but with the technological world we live in now, I am able to do so much more than I would otherwise be able to.  I can keep up with friends and acquaintances with so much more ease than I otherwise would be able to.  The mere click of a button allows me to share and see thoughts, pictures, videos, and other such things with you and from you.

I do not know why God has not let us experience more of the joys written of in this hymn.  I cannot explain or understand it, but I do know that all thing work for to accomplish His plan.  While I often feel that we have been stranded, I know that somehow, someday, God will work it out for our good, for our benefit, and most of all for His glory.

*Proverbs 18:24b