February 18, 2013 by Hannah Jane
Down here in the land of all things Southern, there is a chain of grocery stores bearing the name “Piggly Wiggly”.
Now, I’m not sure who came up with this rather unique name. While it might not be the sort of name I’d give a grocery store, I can say naught against it, especially when I review the incredibly boring names I tend to choose. However, I do wish to complain about the fact that almost no one actually calls the store, Piggly Wiggly.
No, they’ve shortened the name down to The Pig.
And then without thinking, they say things which… frankly, are slightly disturbing. (That’s an understatement.)
“I’m fixin’ ta git some milk from The Pig.”
“Let’s go git some beef. From The Pig.”
“I’ll just run an’ pick up some eggs from The Pig.”
Seriously, people? Don’t you realize how that sounds? Don’t you realize how disturbing this is to those who don’t automatically know that “The Pig” refers to a grocery store?
Please, stop. Unless you’re going to buy bacon there, please don’t refer to it as “The Pig”. Just… don’t.
Category Uncategorized | Tags: da south,Humor,misc. | 1 Comment
August 13, 2011 by Hannah Jane
Yet another re-post.
I know I’ve posted things like this before, but oh well.
Please be aware of the fact that I am simply trying to make people laugh here. Some exaggerations are included.
- ‘Yonder’/’Over yonder’ is a convenient word/phrase to use when you are unsure of a distance.
- Pushing the shopping cart is out of vogue. Mashing the buggy is so much more fun to say anyway.
- Ladies like Andy Griffeth’s Aunt Bee are still around today, and in certain places, rednecks still abound.
- Oil is as water to southerners. They boil with it, fry with it, and pretty much use for everything other than drinking.
- Lincoln did not technically free any slaves whatsoever.
- Heavily sweetened iced tea is the beverage of choice.
- Southerners think that 60 degrees is freezing, except for during the summertime when the air conditioners are turned down to about 50 degrees.
- No one needs to turn on the TV to know the weather report. Its always humidity anyway.
- If you want to get a southerner talking, mention either football or the war for southern independence. (If you are talking with a redneck, make sure you don’t call it the civil war!)
- If you don’t understand what a southerner is saying due to her accent, smile politely, and hope she didn’t just ask you a question.
- If you want to develop a southern accent, watch Fireproof, Facing the Giants, or Flywheel a couple hundred times. Then listen to southerners talk for a few years, and then try out saying y’all. If no one laughs too hard at you, practice saying that one word for the next decade or so. Then throw in another word…
- Atlanta is pronounced Adlanna
- No one ‘has’ a fit – they all pitch fits instead.
- A ‘mess’ is a convenient way to indicate some large amount when you don’t know the exact amount.
- Southern Mommas will call their kids ‘a mess’ (i.e. “she’s a mess”) even when the kids are completely clean. Don’t ask, I have yet to figure this one out myself.
- Fried green tomatoes are actually eaten down here.
- Southerners think that every single nawthunuh is just dyin’ to come down hyah.
- ‘Directly’ (pronounced da-rhecly) is a convenient way to indicate an unknown amount of time. (i.e., she’ll be here da-rhecly.)
- Banana pudding is the southerners dessert of choice.
- BBQ consists of extremely dry shredded meat on a puffy white roll with some weird concoction of a sauce they call ‘BBQ sauce’.
- Sugar is pronounced shugah.
- BBQ is appropriate for any occasion.
- “just down the road” means some distance between 1/2 a mile and 30 miles.
- “fixin’” is a word which can be used as a verb, noun, or adverb, depending on the situation.
- y’all is singular, all y’all is plural.
- If southerners only want a small garden, it is almost guaranteed that they will be planting okra, tomatoes, okra, cucumbers, sweet potatoes, and okra.
- forever is pronounced fahrevuh.
- Have you noticed this post has a lot of food in it? yeah, me too.
- Southerners love their country music. Even if it gives you a headache, make sure you don’t insult it in the presence of a southerner.
- If you happen to be from the north, don’t ever expect understand the people down here.
- Be aware of the fact that southerners call their grandma and grandpa ‘mawmaw’ and ‘pawpaw’, or ‘gramma’ and ‘big papa’, or somethin’ like that.
Category Uncategorized | Tags: da south,Humor | 3 Comments